Keep the Happiness in Your Marriage and the Twinkle in Your Eyes

Okay, you’ve spent a lot of time preparing with your future wife for the big day, your wedding day, and the wonderful romantic honeymoon the week after. Now you are married and have to strive to keep that same strong bond that brought you together with the wonderful woman in your life. You probably have friends who have dissolved their marriages for one reason or another, and you feel a bit frightened, and wonder if you’ll ever have to endure a divorce or can you be like those people you read about who have a great big party to celebrate their 50th or 60th wedding anniversary? How can you keep that spark in your relationship with your wife long-term? Like anything in life that is worthwhile, it takes active effort and lots of team work.

  • Communication is key: If you think you’re going to agree on everything, think again. There will be times when you have disagreements. The most important thing to do is to communicate your thoughts without being angry, and listen to your spouse and her opinions. You may be able to compromise on something that works out well for both of you. You have to work as a team in taking care of financial household matters, and bringing up children (if you choose to have kids).
  • Keep on dating each other: It is important to have some time to get out and do the things you love to do like dining together, watching a movie or a concert, or attending a party. You both may have work obligations and children. That is important too, but it is important to get a chance to just be with each other, either once every two weeks, or once a month at the very least.
  • Give each other space: It is healthy for your marriage and for your friendships. Have one night a week that you do something with your best buddies. Go out for a beer, a game of bowling, or watch a football game together. Encourage your wife to have a night she does something with her friends or a favorite activity like a yoga class, a choir practice, or a book club. You don’t need to be around each other 24/7.
  • Work on a calendar together: You want to plan out your vacation time together, discuss if you will be visiting in-laws or not on Thanksgiving, Maybe you can come up with an alternating schedule of visiting her parents one holiday and your parents the next. Also plan out who will do certain chores throughout the week, so they are not overwhelming for either or you.
  • Exercise together: Take a walk on a local trail or park everyday, or ride bikes together. It will be a fun time for both of you, give you energy.
  • Work on finances together: Come up with a family budget. Write down how much your groceries are, utilities bills, mortgage, gas expenses, etc. Also see how much you can put aside into savings every month. Do it as a team. Many couples fight over finances. Have a game plan if one of you would be out of work, what will you do to tighten your budget?
  • Dream together: Share your life goals and support each other to obtain them.
  • Be there for each other through the tough times: When they happen, be there for each other. There can be no greater love.

2 responses to Keep the Happiness in Your Marriage and the Twinkle in Your Eyes

  1. That is ridiculous. Historically, women are not the more promiscuous of the sexes. You’re just encouraging a double-standard, and a submissive wife makes no difference if a man cannot simply be happy with what he already has. Most of these theories are based on Old Testament Biblical teachings- back when it was still okay for a man to have several wives and even some mistresses if his wife was barren. Do you really want to go back to that? If so, I guess that means that men need to start earning enough to keep up with inflation- without any help from their wives. If you want submission, then that’s the very first thing that must be done.

  2. Outside of generally disagreeing with the main sentiment, I read a poorly constructed arguement just now. Your article presents claims and then provides absolutely no evidence, theoretical or otherwise.

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